On New Year’s Resolutions and Why I Didn’t Make One

The title says it all. I used to have New Year’s Resolution. These are the things that makes me think that I have full control of the year ahead and that I can do whatever I want in my own time.

I can’t remember any resolution that I have kept before. Let it be about habits, goals or anything peculiar about my life. I usually fall of my list during the first month, try to pick it up again in the middle of the year and sometime before the end of the year, I forget to do whatever it is on my list. And I usually don’t care. That’s why this year, I decided to not have this resolution sh*t.

Reason 1: It’s too annoying

I’m the kind of person who plans her life but in the end doesn’t get what I want. That’s kind of annoying actually cause it just breaks the harmony and flow that I want my life to have. I tend to just go with the flow. I live everyday thinking that there is always tomorrow so I have to live today. When you have a list of sort, it makes you think in months instead of days. Get my logic? No. Idc.

Reason 2: I don’t follow it.

I write it, do it the first month, forget about it.

Reason 3: There’s no such thing as New Year’s resolution.

I don’t get it actually. They say that New Year’s resolution is made by the person to become better person for the next year or to be able to achieve something or whatever. The thing is, you can do whatever you want NOW. If you can’t do it NOW, why would writing it as a New Year’s resolution make a difference?

And because I tend to forget whatever my resolutions are, I don’t even know what my resolution was last year. Oh well.

 

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On My New Year’s Eve and New Year

This is the first time that I ever celebrated New Year outside of my country. This is my first time celebrating New Year here in Canada. Let me tell you, it’s really different.

I grew up looking forward to New Year because of all the noises and the firecrackers and the celebration that the people bring. Filipinos believe that loud noises shoos bad luck away and so we make lots of noises during New Year celebration. I remember looking outside to find my neighbours lighting up a fountain for everyone to see. It was a very pretty view. And then we light up our sparklers and dance around as we greet everyone, family, friends and neighbours, a Happy New Year. That was really a memory to behold.

New Year here in Canada (well Grande Prairie) is pretty silent (for me). No sparklers, no fountains, no street party, no drunk people outside your house shouting Happy New Year. It was peaceful because I don’t think anyone lost their fingers but it was also very new… very sad for me. Well I do understand that you don’t have to shout or make lots of noises to celebrate but this is not what I’m used to.

There was actually a fireworks on New Year’s Eve and it was very pretty. We were able to see it from our living room and that was very comforting to see. With all the colours and explosions, it was nice.

Waiting for 12 midnight wasn’t as fun as how it was back then. Before, I would be so excited for it. I used to sleep early, around 7 pm, then wake up around 10 or 11 pm as to not miss the countdowns. All night you can hear firecrackers and people shouting outside the house, all eager for the New Year to come. When New Year comes, some of us would jump for the hope of becoming taller or just for the heck of it. However, this year’s New Year is something that I didn’t really look forward to. I didn’t sleep because I have to prepare the house because some friends would be celebrating the New Year with us. I didn’t have anyone at home because my mom was at work and would be home at 11:30. Waiting for the New Year wasn’t half as fun as before. I felt lonely and sad.

My feelings for this year’s New Year celebrations is mixed. I felt lonely because who wouldn’t be? I only celebrated it with my mom and some friends when before I celebrated it with lots of family members. There were noise everywhere and sparklers and fountain and firecrackers back home and there’s just snow here. I used to receive text messages from friends greeting me a Happy New Year but what I get now are just FB messages. Nevertheless, I also felt happy. Why? Because after more than five years, I finally celebrated Christmas and New Year with my mom. It’s something that I looked forward to despite of all my sad and lonely musings about this year’s first day celebration. It’s something that I treasure and celebrate.

New Year celebration is definitely different back home. However, comparing things (which I just did) won’t change anything and would just make me more homesick. But whatever. What’s great is that I get to welcome the Year of the Wooden Horse, 2014! :)

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video: Cagayan de Oro 2014 New Year’s Celebration

New Year, New Experiences, New Sh*ts

It’s already 2014, the year of the Wooden Horse. According to feng shui, I will be kinda lucky, kinda unlucky. Basically, it’s a neutral year for me.

This year, I will be having two jobs, two retail jobs. If anything good happens, I would hope that I get a full time job. The benefits are a definite must for me right now. Therefore, with these two jobs, I shouldn’t be lazy. This is something that is quite difficult for me because I do procrastinate and tend to overly attach myself with my phone and internet. I know I won’t be able to get rid of this habit but I’ll try (TRY) to be less lazier this year.

I have this habit of staring at people when I’m spacing out. It’s kinda weird actually and creepy to that other person. I tend to do that at work and it just annoys me as much as it creeps (maybe) them. This is something that I wanna change. It’s something that I don’t wanna carry on because it’s troublesome. But helloooo, what better things can you do when spacing out?

This year would be a busy year for me. If everything goes well, I would be able to enroll in college for upgrading. I have two jobs and maybe keep just one of them (OH NO!).

I have lots of plans for this year but unlike last year, I won’t be posting them in my blog. The reason is that when I get to post it, I tend to just forget it and move on. Weird. Whatever.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!