A few minutes ago, I asked my mom if she could pick me up from my job tomorrow which will end at 9 pm, she said maybe. Then I asked her again if she can drive me to school tomorrow, she said maybe. She said that since her boyfriend is here, maybe he can drive me. I told her I don’t want him to because she’s my mom and I want her to drive me to school. Then I went to my room.
I may sound like a brat who just don’t want to walk on a -15 degree Celcius winter weather with wind chill at 7:10 in the morning to a 10-minute away bus stop but I have a very valid reason. I have never remembered my mom take me to school when I was in elementary or high school. I’ve tried to remember any instances that she had taken me to school even for just one time, but it has never ever come up. This has bothered me ever since I was young because I used to see my classmates with their mom beside them on the first day of school. Their moms would tell them that everything will be okay or that they will just be outside. I wish my mom had done that for me.
Starting from kindergarten, it was always my grandma who would take me to school. She was a Grade-2 teacher on that elementary school so I would be at the school at 7 in the morning then leave her classroom at about 7:20 to go to my classroom. When I was in kinder-1, she would ask one of her pupils to accompany me to the classroom. But when I was in kinder-2, I asked her not to anymore because “I was a big girl”.
First day of school was supposed to be a big deal for any parents and kids… or atleast it was for me. I don’t remember much of it when I was starting kindergarten but I remembered being excited about starting Grade-1. I can finally wear the white t-shirt with the school seal on it and the blue skirt that made me feel like a princess everytime I would walk (it was really just a blue pleated skirt which length was past my knees). But I don’t remember my mom saying goodbye outside my classroom door nor the packed lunch that she would have made to cheer on me. Rather, I only remember the excited feeling of wearing that elementary school’s uniform.
Now don’t get my mom wrong. She wasn’t a neglectful mom who forgot about her only kid’s school woes. Before she went abroad, she worked at her hometown as a nurse, about almost 2 hours away from where I was living, and we only see each other during the weekend. It was pretty hard on me when I was very young because I would always cry hard everytime she had to leave. Every Sunday I would think that maybe tomorrow, Monday, she’d take me to school. Never happened.
When I was in kindergarten, I would always feel happy going back to my grandma’s classroom and tell her about everything that we did. I would show her my notebook and the stars that I’ve got. Then I would quietly sit at the back of the classroom while she teaches her class. Then Saturday comes and I would tell my mom about my classes but with less details and excitement. I feel like in a way, she also lost that experience of knowing what happened to me in school or what I did or what my petty accomplishments were for the day even though it wasn’t exactly a very big deal.
My mom also has never accompanied me to enroll in school until I was in college (in the Philippines) and I had to force her. I remember feeling envious of other kids with their mom with them filling out forms. It was always my grandma and I enrolling myself. When I was enrolling in Nursing for my second year, I remember forcing my mom to come with me to school because I wanted to experience enrolling for school with her. I wanted that atleast once in my life, I knew that I had that memory of mom helping me enroll in school. In the end, she just sat in one of the benches and waited for me to finish the whole enrollment process.
My mom has never packed me lunch when I was in elementary through high school. This is because she had always worked far away from me. She worked at her hometown then starting going abroad when I was in Grade 4. It was my grandma or my aunt who would always prepare my lunch for me. Everytime we have lunch in the classroom, I remember being a bit envious sometimes of my classmates who said that their mom cooked their food for them or prepared their lunches. I wished at that time my mom did too.
Now that I’m in college and lives in Canada, I wanted my mom to drive me to school just so I can say that I’ve experienced it. So I can tell my kids that my mom has driven me to school. She had driven me to school last semester and I loved it. I loved the feeling of closing the car door knowing that she had finally took me to school after all those years.