On Losing My Safe Place

My car died Monday morning. I still don’t know what was wrong with it but we tried whatever home solutions we could think of. We jump start, changed the battery and added something to the fuel. I was told that I have to wait until the weather becomes warmer to try and start it again because it was just probably too cold for my car to start.

It might be weird for a lot of people for me to say this but this really increases my anxiety level. The thing is that my car is my safe place. I’ve had this car since September and have never been apart from it until last Monday. I remember being so happy when I finally got my license because I can now drive this car wherever I go. I really enjoy driving and driving is one of the things that calms me down. I would sometimes take long and unnecessary routes home just so I can drive longer.

Many people can tell me to just suck it up and wait for my car to get fixed. The thing is that losing my car, even for just a few days, is already affecting my mental health. I would wake up and my thoughts would go directly to my car and my anxiety would start. All throughout the day, I would worry about the car and would wonder how much longer would I wait to get my safe place back. The best thing that I’ve realized when I had this car was that if ever an anxiety attack creeping up on me, I could just easily slip into my car and pour my heart out. I’ve done this a couple of times and it brought me so much comfort that I don’t have to hold the attack much longer until I can get home.

I’d probably get my car fixed by Saturday. I just want my safe place back.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s