Remembering the Dream

I’ve always known what I want to have: a penthouse overlooking a body of water and city lights, and everyone knowing my name that I don’t have to introduce myself. 

Vancouver's skyline view during the day ❤ #vancouver#minivacay

A post shared by Shaira (@_amerl) on

I’ve always been a dreamer. Ever since I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a millionaire. Everytime someone asks me what I want the most, I always see to be a millionaire. Many people laugh at me and tells me that’s not gonna make me happy. Every time people do that, I want to shout at them that it will definitely make me happy. I don’t want to be a millionaire just because I want to buy everything that I want, I also want to help my family. I didn’t grow up rich but we aren’t also poor. However, we have lots of debts to pay and I want to do a lot of things. I want to buy my grandma the house she deserves, tell my parents they can retire because I can support them now, prepare college funds for each of my cousins and pay off whatever debts we have.

As I grow older, these goals are still in my mind, just not at the forefront. These past few years, I was making bad decisions and my mental health was slowly going the wrong turn. My anxiety was getting worse and I was losing the battle of keeping it at bay. I was having more trouble concentrating which leads to me having lots of trouble when it comes to studying. In a way, I was slowly wasting away my education and my good future.

During my mini vacation, I was able to go to the Vancouver Lookout. It was amazing. I was looking at the cityscape and it looked very beautiful. This was around noon and I never wanted to leave that place and just look at the whole view in front of me. This was my dream! This is the kind of view that I want in my penthouse. Since my ticket was still valid till closing, I decided to go back at night.

Vancouver at night ❤ #minivacay

A post shared by Shaira (@_amerl) on

The night view at the Lookout became more beautiful. I remember just looking around me and taking it in. I’ve always loved city lights and to see these lights twinkling at me got me really emotional.Because of my impulsive tendencies, I immediately booked a table at the restaurant area so that I can enjoy the view while I eat. The dinner that I had was probably the most expensive that I’ve ever had but it was one of the most worth it. Eating dinner in a revolving restaurant with nighttime Vancouver as my view will always be one of my favourite memories from this mini vacation.

When I was just waiting for my appetizer to come, I was sipping on my Margarita while thinking of how I managed to lose sight of my goals. As the restaurant revolved, I saw the ocean beside the twinkling lights and realized that this can be my future, in my penthouse. I can have my own penthouse with a patio facing the ocean and the city. I can hang out in my patio,  drink Margarita and just watch as the lights twinkle. I can also watch the sunsets and sunrise in my patio with hot chocolate with me. These thoughts ran through my mind that I found myself tearing up and I had to quickly wipe it away or they would think that I was crazy.

I spent my whole dinner watching the buildings and cars from below. I stayed there for two revolutions and would have loved to stay for another revolution. However, I knew that I still had to walk back to my hotel and the later I stay, the more weirdos would come out on the streets then I wouldn’t feel safe walking back.

Before leaving, I gave Vancouver’s cityscape one last look. This is my dream. I don’t intend on  giving up now. It might take me years to finally reach my dream, but I’ll do my best to eventually reach it. I’ve lost a lot of motivation and fire these past few semesters but I think I found it again. The desire to fulfill my dream is currently burning. Yes, it’s gonna be difficult but I never expected it to be easy. As what Theodore Roosevelt has said, “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty…”.

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