I Say MAMAMOO, You Say Slay

I’ve been chosen as part of V-Friends Season 3. Yaaaas ❤️❤️ I legit forgot about this after I signed up for it and just remembered it after I got the e-mail that I got in. So for the next few weeks, I’m gonna post more about k-pop as I do the missions that we’re given. For this mission, I have to review an Idol channel. My first choice was Super Junior as they’re my ultimate group. However, they don’t have their own channel and only posts through SMTown’s channel.


My next choice is one of my fave girl group MAMAMOO!!


I first learned of Mamamoo through random Youtube videos that I’ve searched of with G-Friend. They’ve done a show before and I instantly fell in love with their quirkiness. I started listening to their songs and Um Oh Ah Yeh is now part of my top fave K-Songs.

Watching Mamamoo’s videos on V Live is so refreshing. It’s like watching my friends telling me a really cool story on facetime. I’m not there with them but I feel like I’m part of what they’re doing. I’ve always loved their impromptu harmonies and everytime they do it on any videos, I instantly melt. They have such beautiful voices and they all ooze with talent and beagleness.

Also, can we please just appreciate Solar? Look at this beautiful turtle. Her face is already painted weirdly but her smile still looks as pretty.


If there’s a Top 5 most adorable face an idol have made, wouldn’t this face make it?


Look at that adorable pout of Whee In. She was recreating a childhood photo and her face on this is just as much cute as the original one. Actually, if I don’t know any better, I would think that she’s the maknae of the group. But nope, here’s Hwasa, the real maknae, recreating hers.


Can we also please just give Moonbyul a big round of applause just for existing? Like look at face. Our rapper is on fire on stage and a playful character off stage.


If there’s one thing that I especially love about this group is their stage presence. Their photos and stage performances overflow with charisma and confidence. Their debut stage didn’t scream rookies, it screamed talent and success. Watching bts from their concerts kept me at awe on how these four quirky ladies can have such randomn personalities off stage. ❤️❤️ I guess that’s what makes them the beagles that they are.


I really enjoy watching their V-live videos. Their personalities shine through each and every video that gets uploaded. I love the fun energy that they give off and the genuine interaction that they have with each other. These are girls who are real friends on and off camera.

All photos are captured from Mamamoo and SMTown’s V Live channels. 

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Seeking Help: One of the Bravest Things I’ve Done

I remember that one morning, I woke up uneasy. I sat on my bed and bad, suicidal thoughts clouded my mind. My heart felt heavy and my head was messing with me. I remember being emotional and irrational. The thought of jumping off a bridge or driving my car through a cliff kept on replaying in my head, over and over again. I was a mess. I was crying, I was in pain. I remember deciding not to to get out of the my room on that day because I was scared of actually harming myself. The sight of the scissors made my skin crawl as I imagined it piercing through my skin. I winced at the thought but it did give me comfort. Thoughts of hurting myself always gives me comfort as well as uneasiness.

I couldn’t take it anymore. The emotions were taking over and I knew that I had to help myself before I lose myself. I searched the suicide hotline and called them. It rang and I had the strongest urge to cut the call off but I knew that I had to push through. A lady answered, she said she was a registered nurse and she could help me for the time being. I was crying but she was calm. She talked me through and helped me find the nearest help center. She asked me if I feel safe from myself, I said “Yes” even though I wasn’t too sure myself. She directed me to the center and a few hours later, I was calm enough to drive and started my baby steps towards a better mental health.

I remember sitting on that chair with the lady across me. She was asking me questions, questions a counselor from two years ago have asked me too. In my head, I thought she would be the same as that counselor, with fake empathy and note-taking BS. I hated that counselor. I only had one session with her and never came back because I felt too embarrassed pouring out myself to a stranger which obviously showed me fake empathy. But this new lady is different. One of the first things she told me was, “You are very brave in coming here“. Brave is one word that I would describe myself when it comes to tackling many life challenges but I never thought that asking for help is considered a brave move. But this lady just called me brave because I finally sought help to better my mental health.

I was eventually placed as urgent in the list for day therapy sessions. I got a single-session therapy with this male therapist (probably a psychologist?) who told me that I didn’t have depression, but I already know that. What I didn’t know was that I had Childhood Trauma. No one has beaten me to a pulp nor sexually harassed me. But the way I was brought up definitely affected how my brain works. It affected my personality, my emotions and how I breath. I didn’t know that I breath differently from a normal person. Apparently, regular people breath mainly using their stomach. I, on the other had, breath mainly using my chest. When this therapist asked me try and breath using my stomach, I had a hard time doing it and I still have trouble doing it right now. He said that my way of breathing shows that I’m always on the end, that my brain is rarely relaxed which explains why my anxiety is always at the background. Also, he showed me a diagram relating to childhood trauma. It wasn’t just anxiety or depression, it’s a combination of different things but never the whole thing. I didn’t have depression just because I still have appetite with food and pleasure. However, I still showed the other signs and symptoms for it. In short, he said that I have GAD, a bit of depression, a bit of OCD and a bit of some more other things that I wish I remember because I was an idiot and didn’t just took a photo of it.

I have finally started my therapy sessions. These are free so it definitely helps me a lot. I’m looking forward in finding more about myself and actually experience emotions that I have probably deprived myself in a long time. I’m also considering taking some medicines so I’m just gonna have to wait until I meet with my family doctor.

Seeking help for your mental health is not a bad idea. It’s gotta be one of the best things you can do for yourself. You get to stop asking “What is wrong with me?” to start asking “How can I help myself?”. It can be scary at first, but it can definitely help you in the long run.