On Being Today’s Downer

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My mom wanted us to do some tubing today. Something that I really don’t want to do. I’ve been saying no for the past few times she had asked me and today wasn’t the day she was gonna get that answer. So I was forced to wear this godawful snow pants we got from Costco.

Today is one of my down days. I don’t feel happy nor sad. I’m very irritable and don’t want to do anything. My body doesn’t want to cooperate and neither does my will. It’s one of those days that I would have just slept in and keep my comfort to myself. But alas, no. My mom does what she wants to do whether I like it or not. This is the same exact person whom, in confidence, I told my anxiety about and proceeded to tell my aunt and dad. I asked her that she shouldn’t. This was in pre-meds and I was so mad because my dad then called me to tell me that it was because of hormonal changes as a teenager (I was 21).

As much as I love my mom, she doesn’t understand my cues. I told her no but she has to insist that I should. I don’t want to take photos but she forces me to. She wants me to do things that she likes but I really don’t. There’s a reason why I mastered the art of faking a smile.

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